Cathy
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Re:Should smoking drivers be prosecuted? - 03/10/07 18:00
While we're at it, let's also applaud these recently announced Highway Code initiatives:
Stupid people must not drive. Only those with a doctorate (or equivalent post-graduate qualification) may drive a motor vehicle.
Obese 'citizens' must not drive; they can't reach the steering wheel without stretching their arms beyond the approved angle.
Passengers can be a distraction. All passengers must have their tongues removed and wear a strait-jacket to obviate 'signing'.
All pedestrians must submit to a "Hot" test. If they're particularly attractive, all parts of their body must be covered, to avoid distracting motorists.
Spectacularly ugly pedestrians should take similar steps. A small tent will suffice at 'awkward' moments.
Child passengers can be distracting. They must therefore be secured in a closed, soundproof container in the luggage area. Hourly 'Oxygen' breaks are recommended.
Objects outside the vehicle can be distracting. Windows should therefore be blacked out so that the driver can see nothing beyond the interior of the vehicle.
To protect the beauty and visual integrity of our environment, all motor vehicles must be camouflaged (seasonal variations apply).
All motor vehicles put pedestrians at risk, and are therefore prohibited from any movement at any time, except when being delivered from the factory by vehicle transporter.
Vehicle transporters must not use roads. All motor vehicles must therefore be delivered by airship.
To meet Government carbon-offset targets, all airship pilots must send one (1) piece of coal to a designated 'Developing Nation' per delivery trip.
That should do nicely. Drive safely, fellow citizens!
*Buy the Highway Code and get 'Studies in Personal Courage' by the RH Grodon Brwon MP for only £8.99!*
Post edited by: Cathy, at: 03/10/07 18:02
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